Today the focus of meditation was "scratch lip". The idea was to scratch my upper lip with my fingernail and then focus on the sensations and on my breath. What I notice when I focus on my breath is that it is difficult for me to let my breathing be, I keep wanting to judge it or control it. I wonder if that's just the human condition or if being asthmatic complicates the process? I guess that's why these meditations which offer something to focus on besides my breathing seem more relaxing to me. When I think about it though, I would usually never judge that I was feeling an itch too much, I simply decide to ignore it or notice it, scratch it or not scratch it. How is it that whatever the quality of my breath is, I think it's too deep or too shallow, too fast or too slow? Interesting.
I was glad about meditating today, because I got very upset about an unexpected bill yesterday and stayed on edge, sulky and resentful (ok I'm still sulky and resentful) until this afternoon. Someone told me some jokes and that helped me lighten up a bit. You never know how much you might be helping someone in some way. Life is nice like that. Full of surprises, well I could have skipped the bill surprise, but not the rest.