Well, I did it. Meditation. I'm counting breaths and usually find my mind wandering about doing something else around breath 5. When I do count up to 10 breaths, a small cheer leading troop arrives does a pyramid and a few throws and by the time the celebration is over I think I might be at breath 3, but I'm not sure so I start over at 1.
There seems to be a battle about this in my self. But at least it is a battle fought with humor and possibly some affection. I can imagine some teen-aged aspect thinking, "Ooo, if we sent in a troop of cheer-leaders when ever she manages to focus until 10 breaths, then she'll lose track for the next 'set' ". So maybe there should be a super-Westernized meditation book for weight-lifters... Ten Sets, 100 Reps ... Enlightenment!.
I suppose seeing and mocking the competitive process equals some type of awareness.
The cheerleaders also reminded me of being at a youth camp, where I was asked to lead a group meditation. I was a bit puzzled that I was asked, but was enough of a ham to go for it. We all sat in a very large circle cross-legged or whatever lotus legged we were able to do. I quietly intoned what I thought a leader of a group meditation ought to say. It seemed, amazingly, to be going quite well. Then I opened my eyes because 3 of my friends (including my best friend) had been hiding behind a couch snickering and they started saying "Yams!" very loudly as in "YAAAAAAMMMMMMSSSS" with an upward lilt at the end. They were much like cats, expressions of smugness on their faces, meowing "yams". I was very annoyed with them, but, if memory serves, managed to keep my poise through what was now less of an ego trip and more a battle of wills. However a battle fought with humor and much affection.
So in a sense I very happily have my old friends back, this time mocking me with cheerleaders instead of root vegetables. And I gently mock them back, using an imaginary can opener to open this imaginary can of cat food... or is it yams?
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