I wrote this word poem about my typical trigger for anger:
Not Seen or Heard
The irony is that often I am the person least willing to acknowledge and accept my own anger. So I try to be more aware of even annoyance. For example today I was training my dog and I started to feel impatient. I noticed my impatience and (this time at least) did not fuss at my dog. Instead I noticed that my neck was hurting and decided training was over for the moment.
I made a list of anger queries for myself:
- Do I listen to my anger, with compassion? Without judgement? With curiosity?
- Do I remember that anger increases energy, focus and motivation (not necessarily bad)?
- Do I use the products of anger (i.e. that focus, motivation and energy) well?
Often I stuff or ignore my anger which means that whatever triggered the anger, like my sore neck, gets ignored and worsens. It's so much better when I listen, see if there is something sensible that can be changed. Surprise, suddenly I have the best dog in the universe again! (except of course for your dog).